Light One Candle

Light One Candle

Light one candle for all we believe in,
That anger not tear us apart;
And light one candle to bind us together
With peace as the song in our heart!
.
…“What’s the commitment to those who have died?
We cry out, “They’ve not died in vain”

I was about to post a lovely article about alternative Christmas trees.  I will get to doing that later this week. Somehow it seems a little too festive to do so in light of last week’s tragedy in Connecticut.  The people who were there cannot find words that are adequate enough to describe what happened .  Rampage might fit. So might “senseless carnage.”But not really, because it was so much more.

On my Facebook page, I asked for opinions on gun control.  We’ve heard it all before.  The pundits against gun control were afraid their constitutional right to bear arms would be stripped away.  The pundits for gun control, of course  felt the opposite.  Somewhere in the  middle were those who would like to see gun control but have resigned themselves to the belief that it couldn’t work.

It’s really a mulch-faceted answer.  I am in solid agreement with Katherine Newman, author of Rampage:  The Social Roots of School Shootings”  whose CNN Opinion article I read.  There is a profile.  We know who these people might be.  A teacher may see what seems to be a sign, but doesn’t talk about it to the school counselor or document it.  A Pastor or youth leader might see something that might be a sign but shrug it off as teenage behavior or home life or trouble at school.  (all of which could be causes for the behavior)  A parent might be dealing with a child who they call  “moody” and pass it off as teenage behavior.  Of all these different people, person A never gets to speak with Person B and the kid slips through the cracks.

Do I want gun control?  Yes.  Do I think gun control will prevent more  mass shootings?  Absolutely not.  But more stringent laws on gun control will make it one step harder for a person to obtain a gun.  The second prong to this is acting as community.  There needs to be a mechanism in place to tag those with potential problems and reach out to them in appropriate ways before they become violent.

We must do something.  We must start.

Coming together as a community is something we can do.  It’s a start.  I have joined the Facebook page for The One Million Child Walk on DC for Gun Control.  The tentative date is set for 2/17/13.  I will be there to join with a national community of others saying “enough is enough.” Will you come?

Light one candle for the strength that we need
To never become our own foe;
Light one candle for those who are suff’ring
The pain that we learned long ago;
Light one candle for all we believe in,
That anger not tear us apart;
And light one candle to bind us together
With peace as the song in our heart!

Don’t let the light go out!
Let it shine through our love and our tears!

What is the memory that’s valued so highly
That we keep it alive in that flame?
What’s the commitment to those who have died?
We cry out, “They’ve not died in vain”
We have come this far always believing
That justice will somehow prevail:
This is the burden. This is the promise.
This is why we will not fail!

~ Light One Candle by Peter Yarrow (Peter, Paul and Mary

Stress – less Holidays

Living Simply Through the Holidayswritten 11/28/12

How much stress do you feel during the holidays?

Ten years ago I left the corporate life for home life. I wanted my kids to know that I actually lived at home and didn’t just visit on the weekends.  I made more money than my husband did so there were to be many adjustments and challenges.  I have never looked back.   We learned to live more simply because we had to, but I feel like a better example for my kids because of it.  I feel like a better person and steward of resources.  Living simply has enabled me to see the world differently and put my life into perspective.

The challenges always came at Christmas.

When we first started our journey our kids were five and four.  They wanted practically everything they saw.  At that point my husband and I made the decision and told our kids that they would get three presents a piece because that’s what Jesus got. (Gold Frankincense and Myrrh.)  Doing this not only put our priorities into perspective but also our kids quickly learned how to prioritize what they really wanted for Christmas.  It took some time, but they got it.

We also re-evaluated the money we spent on relatives and why.  We felt the need to spend buy our parents big gifts at Christmas. Why? They have everything and really didn’t need what we were giving them.  The reason we did it?  To keep up with our siblings and step-siblings.  I am embarrassed just typing those words.  I am sure there are others of you out there who have done the same for similar reasons.  Can I have a show of hands?

My husband and I put our heads together and decided to use the dollars we would normally spend on a meaningless gift and give it to an organization that would do something good for someone else on their behalf.  The organization we chose is World Vision.  My father and mother love to fish.  The first year we gave money to buy fishing kits for people in Asia.  They received the card and were thrilled.  Over the years we’ve given money towards school supplies in America and Africa.  We’ve helped sexually exploited girls and helped families to feed themselves by buying chickens and ducks.  We also started to do this for our children and grandchildren.  This isn’t a World Vision commercial.  It’s what we as a family decided to do.  It’s made the holidays much less stressful and has given everyone something to look forward to.

We’ve stopped donating and volunteering at the holidays and I’ll tell you why.  A few years ago I worked part time at a women’s shelter.  At Christmas the house was literally FLOODED with gifts, food, money etc.  After Christmas people forgot all about these women.  So now we choose to give in the middle of the year when extra hands and goods are needed.

What new holiday traditions have you started?  In what ways do you hope to make this holiday season less stressful?  Share by leaving a comment!

From my home to yours – have a wonderful holiday!

 

 

Trusting Our Intuition

How To Listen To Your Intuition

We’ve heard the adage “women’s intuition” and perhaps we’ve experienced the satisfaction of following our intuition and finding it was right.  How often though, do we bury that internal guide? How often do we refuse to listen to our inner voice?  Do we trust the opinions of others over ourselves?

For generations women learned at the feet of their mother’s and grandmother’s that there is a pure perception of truth, devoid of outside reason that lives within us.  They were taught to listen to that part of their self when coming to a cross road.  What their mother’s, grandmother’s, great-grandmother’s and generations of women before them embraced was their “femaleness”.
They knew that being different from men didn’t make them less than men. It made them powerful women in their own right.

Do you trust your intuition?

Somewhere along the line (probably starting with our fathers) we were told (verbally or non-verbally) that our intuition didn’t count.  We needed to listen to “reason”.  We needed to “investigate” and “research” before making decisions.  Be “logical”.  Some of the women in our lives echoed these sentiments.  We began to stifle that pure reason in exchange for logic, outside opinions and outside information and validation.  Underneath it all our gut still talked to us, or intuition sat silently waiting for us to recognize it’s importance. Now, I’m not saying that using logic, gathering information and listening to other opinions is wrong.  But to bury that basic instinct that lies within us definitely is wrong.

Learning to trust our intuition

Maybe you’ve learned to ignore your gut feeling.  Maybe you you’ve felt your intuition speaking to you and just want to learn to listen to it.  How do we learn or re-learn finding and listening to our own intuition?

Learning to trust ourselves and our feelings is key.  Some things to try:

  • Meditation – Sit quietly and listen.  Start by trying to do this for one minute per day.  Notice what you’re thinking about, what your emotions are.
  • Taking a walk – Walking alone to clear your head can give your intuition a way to surface.
  • Journal – write about how you feel.  You might find your writing stiff at first. Don’t give up! Remember that you are safe in your journal – say what you feel.
  • Tarot Cards – Discover this ancient art of clarifying your feelings.  Contrary to popular belief, tarot cards are not “fortune telling”.   The beautifully illustrated cards can help to bring out feelings related to a particular situation in your life.
  • Create – Creating with our hands, picking up the brush, the needles, the “tools” we create with gives a sense of calmness.  In the act of creating the silence of focus becomes the stimulus for feeling that which is below our conscious level.

Trusting in ourselves and our instincts is one of the most important gifts we can give ourselves as women.  We can pass this gift to our daughters and other women in our lives by helping them to trust themselves too.

Have there been times in your life when you followed your intuition or wished you had?
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